FATMA
We met Fatma through her son, Aziz, a friend of Eva’s for many years who is a collector and trader of antique Central Asian and Turkish textiles. He agreed to meet us at his mom’s home, an apartment in a wealthy, gated complex where one of his brothers live. When we arrived to meet Fatma, she seemed a bit nervous, mostly because she hadn’t had a chance to cook anything for us before we arrived. We assured her we weren’t there to be fed, but nevertheless she managed to assemble a tray of sweets and fruit and tea for all of us, in keeping with the phenomenal, relentless hospitality we received everywhere we travelled in Turkey.
Fatma was born in Maraș, married at 14 years old, and moved to Kayseri, approximately 200 kilometers away, after marriage. Her family was quite poor—her father was a shepherd and she had 8 brothers and sisters. In her village, she spoke Kurdish and Zaza, and wasn’t send to school, so she learned Turkish from others who lived near her. She never learned to read, and had 7 children, starting when she was 15 years old.
When asked the story of her marriage, she responded, “I was a child! I didn’t know anything!” As we pushed a little further, with the encouragement of her son Aziz, she finally did share that essentially she knew this older man was interested in her, she resisted the suggested marriage, and so when her father was away working, the man came in the night, touched Fatma’s face while she was sleeping, and after that Fatma understood that because he had touched her, she was obligated to marriage him. On the day of her wedding, as many people started to gather, she still didn’t realize that it was her wedding they were preparing for. She described her husband as a wild man, fighting with many people and causing trouble, and she often feared for the safety of her family.
In her early thirties, she had one of her eyes removed by a doctor due to a cancer scare. Though a biopsy found no cancer, she has lived the rest of her life with only one eye.
In her current living situation, Fatma expressed that, though she is extremely well-provided for by her sons, and loves her grandchildren, in the gated community she feels very disconnected from the elements of rural life that she enjoyed and treasured—gardens and textiles and animals in particular.
The more time we spend with Fatma, the more she and her sons relaxed into the conversation. As we all settled into a less formal atmosphere and the sun began to set over the Bosphorus, we felt her warmth and sweetness emanate more and more.
